Ahhmmm Chocolate Cake…

It’s not going well. I feel like giving up. I know it sounds strange after my up spirit post from yesterday, but today I woke up thinking I don’t need this. OK, so I am heavy, what’s the big deal. I won’t be like all those hot mothers at school, I won’t go to the beach this summer also, I won’t buy clothes… so what? I don’t know, I really don’t know what I am thinking already. It feels like everyone around me who is on a diet looses the weight in no time. I have this friend and evertytime she says I need to get back to my clothes, she does it in 3 to 4 weeks. Why it is so hard for me? Maybe I should go to the gym. But I hate the gym. I feel like everyone there only come to look for a hot date. I think the reason is also I stopped myself from eating the food I love, especially chocolate. Maybe I should just eat it and it won’t be such a big deal? What do you think? Maybe a chocolate cake would be realy compensating? OK, I am heading to the Cafe house now… will keep you updated …